CotE Bible



The Cult of the Emperor's Bible is the fan made Bible to honor the show's main host as a Godlike figure, to his Almighty amusement. The Cult's Bible, as written by his devout followers is as follows:

Emperor1G's Genesis
CotE 1:1 First Emp made the heaven & earth 2 Teh earth was out of shape and looked like crap, and it was dark everywhere, like really freaking dark; and the Emp was walking over the waters and said, “HEY EARTH, STOP LOOKING LIKE CRAP” The judgement of the Emp came upon the earth with extreme harshness so the Earth became perfectly spherical and not flat, though that will be debated in a few millennia

CotE 1:2 And the dark was pissing Emp right the hell off so the Emp yelled HEY DARKNESS STOP BEING SO EMP DAMNED DARK! The dark was really freaking scared and invented light.

CotE 1:3 The Emp renamed Darkness to night and Light to day and told them to fucking deal with it, and they did. And night and day screwed each other and made evening and morning, and both regretted drinking so much